Leviticus 26

13) I’m the boss
14) But if you don’t obey me
15) If you don’t like my rules or follow them
16) Well, be ready m*therfuckers, because I won’t follow yours either – I’ll make you scared, sick, blind, and so sad that you’ll be blowing loads on the tongues of whores you hate
17) I’ll send your enemies after you, and you’ll run like a scared b*tch all the time, looking over your shoulder
18) And actually I’m going to do this all 7x harder if you don’t get it the first time
19) I’ll break your pride, bar you from heaven, and ruin your Earth
20) All your hard work will be wasted, because you’ll have no crops, the trees will die
21) And by the way SERIOUSLY if you keep f*cking up, I’ll punish you 7x over again
22) I’ll send beasts to eat your children and cattle and lower your population, I’ll make the Earth a ghost town b*tch
23) And if you KEEP f*cking up, I swear to m*therfucking me
24) I’m doing the 7x thing again
25) I will CUT you, b*tch, and make you pay, I will spread PLAGUES among you, and I will deliver you to your enemies on a silver platter
26) And your economy will be ruined, and you’ll go hungry, and be starving all the time
28) I’ll do the 7x thing AGAIN but also while verbally assaulting you
29) And I’ll make you eat your OWN M*THERFUCKING KIDS
30) And I will make art out of your corpses, and disown you forever
31) I will ruin your cities, even your most sacred places, I will not remember you
32) I will bring the Earth to ash, and bring your enemies to laugh at it
33-35) I will kill you even harder, and on the Sabbath, I’ll rejoice in your ruin
36-38) And whoever’s left will be such a little messenger b*tch that their only purpose is to make my scariness known, because your enemies will have eaten you like Thanksgiving dinner
39-46) And you’ll suffer, and suffer, and suffer, and I’ll torture you indefinitely in front of your enemies, and furthermore I’ll f*cking HATE YOU and SEND YOU TO HELL if you don’t follow my rules GODDAMNIT.