the only answer

And I saw the nations gathered like a hot fair or parade
Melting in a sun that couldn’t contain the rage or the sanguine content
And I saw them warring, still, and I didn’t understand why
I saw the pain and I tried to consume it, bit by bit, like someone else’s birthday cake
That I just couldn’t get down, I just couldn’t get it down
And they were killing their friends, their children, and their friends’ children
And they were inbreeding, and cheating, to perpetuate who knows what blood
And the aircraft, and computers, and the tin-foil alien hats
That showed we’re all just as absorbed as the next, or ourselves
And I couldn’t make sense, like a kindergartener in a calculus class
But the calculus was evil, and not meant for anyone
And I knew there were beautiful things, beyond me, outside
But in the dark, in my head alone at night, I couldn’t conjure them
The glimmers that make this life worth living, and the people worth fighting for
They’re so frequent, yet so fleeting, and I want them for my own
I will call them like the light to vacuum, to melt my old Antarctic heart
And I will wave my flag for mothering, for loving intervention
I will let the hatred suckle at me till it’s tired out.

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