I summon thee,
Great God of the Internet,
Gatekeeper of the world wide web,
Wondrous engine of modern knowledge.
Please, dear Google, help me with this wretched paper.
I will tell ye exactly what I need, and I know ye shall deliver.
Lead me not into the Library of Congress or Dewey Decimal System,
But deliver me from the toils of genuine inquiry and well-cited research.
For thine is the power and the glory and the crumbling of the human mind,