the bird, the cow, & the cat (2.0)

winter was settin’ in early and the rancher’s crops were so bare he could see their religion. he knew old bessie’s milk would carry him a spell, but come ’round february he’d be meager’n hankerin’fer steak.

meanwhile, that depraved hillbilly from yonder had his eye on ol’ bessie’s happy-hole. he reckoned to steal her in the night, and wrap himself in her blissful bovine warmth all the winter long.

on the night the rancher fixed to fetch up that ribeye, he discovered only an empty barn, and starved to death with the soft wail of violated cattle rolling over the hillside.

the moral of the story is that not everyone keeps you around is your friend, and not everyone who fucks you is your enemy.